Never in my long years of alcoholic drinking, not even after this terrible incident in which I could easily have cost someone else their life, did I ever consider that I was an alcoholic. This is in large part because the diagnosis — self, social, or professional — focuses on alcohol rather than actual symptoms. This would be like diagnosing diabetes by determining how many doughnuts you ate today. Stupid, right? But it’s exactly why there are countless untreated, suffering alcoholics and addicts, and why those afflicted by the disease try for years to convince themselves and their family and friends they don’t have it. After my accident I didn’t think alcohol was my problem, but my choices, and it wasn’t until seven years later that I walked into my first A.A. meeting, surprised to learn that alcohol is not actually what defines an alcoholic.
I had even taken those online tests to determine if I was one. Though I cheated a little, it was easy to tell myself that I wasn’t really one because none of the standards were objective, nor helpful, and each suggestion or question originated from some violation of social standards rather than tangible symptoms. Because all the questions were about alcohol, they were not about the symptoms of alcoholism. A person can get totally blackout drunk on a weeknight and still not be an alcoholic, where another person (such as a friend of mine who died at the age of thirty-four) can be an alcoholic drinking just one or two beers every day, never getting wasted or driving while intoxicated.
If you believe or suspect you are an alcoholic, do not worry, getting sober was far easier than anything I ever did while drinking, and I didn’t have to give up a single thing of value to get it. One of the biggest hesitations for many people in getting sober is the fear that we will no longer be a part of life to the degree we think we are with a cocktail in hand, but I have had more fun and satisfaction without alcohol than I ever did with it. Even better, I am now able to avoid people who don’t have my best interests in mind, and am freed of the emotional chains associated with the disease that made life so perplexing and frustrating. It’s important to know that if you are an alcoholic or addict, that treatment centers are often presented as professional or expert in diagnosing and treating these conditions, but there is no regulatory agency for recovery centers and they are often owned and operated only by other addicts, and many centers are predatory at worst or misguided at best, and centers are more often used by alcoholics and addicts as a refuge from their disease which usually leads to relapse once rejoining society. My personal recommendations for therapy and description and treatment of the disease is outlined in my book or in my article, The Cure for Alcoholism and Addiction.