Temper tantrums, the physical need for daily naps, or thumb sucking—these are things that children usually outgrow with time. However, there are certain things that don’t dissipate without plenty of the right help, including the effects of early traumatic experiences. Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) doesn’t just disappear with time, contrary to what some people believe. Children who aren’t effectively treated for RAD most often grow into adults with personality disorders.
Reactive attachment disorder is a brain disorder
Even though other people can’t see the differences on the outside, the brains of children with RAD look different from the brains of children who didn’t experience trauma. Reactive attachment disorder is a brain injury that typically occurs as a result of early abuse and neglect. Just as a person can’t simply “outgrow” the brain disorder of bipolar disorder, neither can a person simply outgrow RAD.
When people experience traumatic events, the stress hormone cortisol gets released in the brain. This biochemical reaction to chronic and extreme stress changes the formation of the brain. Consider this analogy—think of the human brain like the earth and water like trauma. Over time, the release of water over the earth begins to erode the soil into pathways. As pathways form, the water rushes down those pathways again and again until they become canyons. Like the earth, the brain begins to look physically different than it once did. Therefore, the brain reacts differently as a result. When the brain experiences a trauma trigger, fear becomes an overwhelming irrational emotion. The brain automatically goes into survival mode and the person fights, flees, or freezes in his own way. Such triggers only make the erosion and canyons deeper with time. It is not something people can just forget, outgrow, or “get over”.
RAD may look like just another developmental phase, but it’s not
For those who don’t understand RAD or haven’t raised a child with RAD, the disorder can look like just another developmental phase. That’s because children who were abused or neglected before the age of 5 didn’t get opportunities to experience normal early child development. Therefore, they essentially get “stuck” in the developmental stage of a toddler. Their behaviors can look similar to that of a younger child. They steal, lie, argue, throw temper tantrums, blame others for their mistakes, and have trouble regulating their emotions, for example. Yet, children who were abused or neglected during their youngest years don’t continue to develop normally and “outgrow” it like other children. Their brains are hard-wired to stay put.
The assumption on behalf of the general public that children with RAD might just be a bit behind developmentally makes sense. They believe that the children will just catch up eventually. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.